Monday, December 28, 2015

Justice.

Right now... I am tired, really really tired. I am tired of racism. I am tired of police getting away with excessive use of force. I am tired of not getting justice. I am really really tired of it all. Why I am so tired? It didn't take a few days or one death of an innocent person to get me here. It took a few years and many deaths to make this tired.

It all started when I was about 12. I heard about the Trayvon Martin case. I was appalled when his murdered got away free. That was the beginning of me being tired. It only got worse after the shooting in South Carolina. I am tired of hearing of death after death after death without any justice. I thirst to see justice poor down like a torrent of rain, but right now we are in a drought. There is not justice in our justice system. In our skewed courts. America is NOT a city on a hill. America is in a drought of justice. That is what I am tired of.

I am also sick of the callous remarks I hear. Like he was doing something illegal, he had a toy guy, she yelled at him, or he was wearing a hoodie.  NONE of those actions should equal death. I shouldn't be afraid for my life, because I yelled at someone, wore a hoodie, had a toy gun, or committed a minor crime. That is wrong. Someone doesn't deserve death for stealing a candy bar. That is not justice.

So join me. Join me in demanding justice. Join me in saying Black lives matter. Join me in fight for what is so sacred to all of us a person's very life. Join me. If we do this together, we don't have to be tired. WE don't have to hear about death after death by police , racists, and the list goes on. We don't have be starved of what are malnourished stomachs so desperately need, Justice. So why don't you climb aboard. Join this ship's crew as we seek out what our country so desperately needs for all citizens no matter the color of their skin. That is Justice.

Wednesday, December 23, 2015

I am a feminist

I am a feminist. Some people label feminism as crazy, stupid, unnecessary and the list goes on. Why would someone want to take part in it? Don't women have enough freedom? I will answer these questions and more.

I  am proud to call myself a feminist, because of all the other amazing women before me who called themselves feminist. I am feminist, because I believe in the equality of men and women. After seeing how women are objectified in our culture. After learning that I couldn't walk down the street by myself due to the simple fact that I am a girl. After I learned that, male victims of domestic violence and rape are not taken as seriously as women. I now know there is a problem. When I learned that there are less than 150 female African-American physicists. I knew then that there was a problem. I wanted to be a part of that change.

I have heard many people say that there is not a problem. But, there is obviously is. I understand that women have come very far from where we were even less than 100 years ago. This has been due to the work of male and female feminists alike. Feminism is not the war cry overpriveledged women, who scream oppression. No, I don't think I am very oppressed. Yes! I have experienced some difficulties that I wouldn't have as a man.  Just because we have come so far doesn't mean that we need to stop. The cause of feminism still needs to be fought for. Not just here in my home country, but around the world. My heart goes out for the countless girls being bared from getting a good education. The cries for justice and equality of girls around the world still rings in my ears. I want to fight for these women and girls here in my country and around the world. That is why I am a feminist.

I know you still may not get the cause or think I am simply a man-hater, stupid, bossy, annoying. Frankly, I don't care.  I am going to stand for equality regardless of what others think. I am proud to be a feminist. I proud to stand for equality for both genders. I hope you can understand that I am not a man-hater. I am not faking oppression. I am making people aware of the real issues that need to be addressed. As a feminist I will not deny the problem. I will not ignore the cries. I will stand up and fight for the cause.

Sunday, November 1, 2015

Accept Yourself

                                               I am so sorry. I haven't made blog post in awhile.

So, recently, I've been think about beauty and what means to be fat, curvy, over-weight, skinny, etc. I looked up my BMI and I was overweight. I was shocked and a bit depressed. Then I realized something a few weeks latter. I started working out more and playing volleyball. I was able to run faster and farther. I felt healthy again. My stamena was great,  I was cutting calories. I stopped snacking so much, but the weight wasn't falling off. I lost about 10 pounds. I wanted to be that skinny girl, but I couldn't be that skinny girl. I wasn't built that way. It was then I started to accept my curves. Yeah, I am  a curvy girl. I may not be skinny, but I am healthy and fit. Now, after 3 months of consistent working out I can do 100 jumping-jacks, 50 crunches, 30 situps, and cardio. I can rock a pencil skirt. I am beautiful. I had stop wanting something that would never be mine. No matter how skinny I got I would still have curves. God Blessed with this beautiful body that I have come to accept. We all are give a body. We don't get another one. We need to learn to love and accept it for the beautiful creation it is. If you are skinny girl, you don't need to have curves. You are still beautiful. If you aren't a super muscular guy, you don't need to be. You are still handsome. If you are a super curvy girl accept it. You are gorgeous. It doesn't matter what body type you have. What kind of hair you have. What color your hair or eyes are. You were made in the image of all powerful God. You are wonderful creation. That is why I had to accept that I am curvy and beautiful. You are beautiful too,

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Saturday, October 17, 2015

It Is Not To Be

It Is Not To Be

Everytime I think of you
I remember you
I remember your smile
I sometimes scroll through your pictures
I imagine my hand in yours
But it is not to be
I look at our old texts
Our silly conversations
I remember the first time you called me
Beautiful
I thought you were wonderful
You still are
But we haven’t talked in what seems like ages
Everytime I think about you
Why I loved you
I fall in love with you again
Everytime
The scary part is that I don’t know if you love me back
You’re quirky, smart, and sweet
That is what makes me fall in love with you
I remember the feeling I got when I talked to you
How everytime I think of you it puts a smile on my face
I loved you
and I still do
I keep on falling in love with you
But the scary part is Do you love me?
Don’t you love me?
Or is not to be?
Is this feeling that causes butterflies
This feeling that makes me smile and dance
Do you feel it too?
Or is not to be?
The scary part is that I don’t know
But everytime I see you just a glimpse
I fall head over heels for you
Everytime I remember why I loved you
I fall in love  with all over again
I know we haven’t talked in awhile
But I loved you
And I still do
I will never stop falling in love with you

Until you say it is not to be

Tuesday, September 22, 2015

To Be a True Hero

Hero? It is a term you hear on the news and in stories and pretty much everywhere, but what does it really mean. According to Merriam Webster Dictionary it is a mythological or legendary figure often of divine descent endowed with great strength or ability or one who shows great courage. This gives us a general idea of what a hero is, but what is separates the heroes from the average people.There are several legitimate answers. Superhuman powers, courage, strength, These are all true, heroes can posses these things. Though, the essence of heroism can be explained in three words bravery, loyalty, and love.


Shaking, Sir Gawain stood before the Green knight. He steadied himself preparing to receive a mortal blow. He was afraid yet he was working through his fear. In the story Sir Gawain and the Green Knight, many good and bad characteristics were shown. The story began when the Green Knight made an unexpected entrance at King Arthur’s New year's feast. The Green Knight challenged everyone there to give him a blow with his own ax. A year later the Green Knight would return the blow. King Arthur appalled decided to take up the offer, but Sir Gawain stepped in front him and took this mortal fait. He gave the Green knight the fateful blow. He comprehended when he stepped in front of King Arthur that he was risking his life. Surely, he would die. Willingly, he pushed aside his fear and faced the Green Knight. A year later he faced the green knight again. After three blows from the Green Knight, Sir Gawain survived. He showed bravery in his willingness to sacrifice his life for a good friend. He was a true hero.


Loyalty, it is hard to be the person that stands with someone else through the ridicule, but this is a mark of true friend, a true hero. Wiglaf from the old story Beowulf possessed this trait. When all of Beowulf’s friends had deserted him, Wiglaf stayed by his side and together they fought the dragon, who mortally wounded Beowulf. Beowulf in turn mortally wounded the dragon. Wiglaf never did leave his side the entire time. Even as he was dying Wiglaf fulfilled his dying wishes. Ashamed were the deserters of Beowulf. They did not posses the nature of a true hero like WIglaf They were only simple cowards. Wiglaf stayed, even with the trials that Loyalty can bring the joys are worth far more, true friendship and heroism is a treasure worth far more than any Gold.


Love, one could say is the greatest of all values. Love encompasses all others. If you love someone, you will be loyal, brave, kind, generous, and the list goes on. Love is what truly makes a hero a hero. Whether that love is for a stranger or their country. Love is woven into the fabric that makes a true hero. We can see this if we look past the folly in the Canterbury Tales. Palamon and Arcite fell in love with the beautiful Emily. Palamon spotted Emelye. He was overtaken by her beauty. He points her out to his cousin and friend Acrite. They both fall in love with her beauty. Now, willing to fight to the death over a girl they barely know. After many events that land them free from jail . A stadium is built by Theseus for them to battle for Emelye. Each with a 100 men on their sides, they doughtily fight for Emelye. Arcite dies trying to marry his love. Palamon lives happily ever after with his love, Emelye. They showed love for Emelye in the willingness to fight for her. Although it wasn’t wise to lose a friendship over a girl who simply attractive. Their love for her is apparent

Love, loyalty, and bravery are the marks a true hero bears. He is willing to die for a cause even if 

he is scared. She is willing to remain loyal even when things are extremely difficult. Heroism is a quite 

simple term once you take away the fancy facades. Heroism has its bare bones is something you and I 

can do daily. We can all be heroes. It is not the amount of difference you make it is the fact that you

made a difference. Love may seem foolish at times. Loyalty may be hard. Bravery may be scary. If 

you those things overcome the negatives, you can be the true hero you were destined to be.


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Sunday, August 9, 2015

Freedom

I look in the mirror. I see my face. It is tear stained. I look like total chaos. I look like the chaos inside of me. My hair is everywhere. My mouth is a ruler. I feel sort of delirious. I have to do this. It is not worth it. It isn't too much pain too much sorrow. I take the knife and slit my wrists. I had already written the note to my family and " friends." I lay on my bed. I let myself bleed out the pain. As I lie there dying my life flashed before my eyes. The menacing words. The turned backs. Being turned away left out disregarded and unloved. The shame of the feeling when I knew what he had done to me at that stupid party. The only party I had been invited to in High School. I knew it was too good to be true. That those popular seniors actually wanted to be my friends. They just used me. The worst part is that no one would believe me. No one would believe what happened to me. No one would stand up for me. The only one who believed me was my mom. She and my dad were the only one who ever truly cared. Why did the police not believe me? All these people that let me suffer alone. They will probably come to my funeral but they weren't my friends while I was alive. They did not come to my birthday party. I sat there alone. I was waiting. The rejection I felt was felt alone. The voices of my peers "No one likes you." "You are ugly." "Maybe you should kill yourself" "You're fat." "You're stupid." "You're just a fly." I could handle that but those who called me their friends making me look like a fool. Tick Tick Tick Tick I feel myself letting go. Just like they let go of me. I feel the darkness enshroud me. Strangely it feels good. I am dying and I don't feel panicked. I am just going to sleep a long eternal sleep. The pain is gone and I feel free.