Curves and dresscodes don't mix

Being veloptous is difficult at times. While some people may claim it is the perfect ideal, it comes with its on set of challenges whether that is finding jeans, dresses, or bras. Dresscodes are an entirely different hurtle especially when you are a thick and curvy black girl. Dresscodes are generally sexist and unfair, but they specifically target curvy girls especially of color.

I remember getting pulled aside significantly more often for dress code than any of my less "blessed" girlfriends. Dresscodes are nightmare when one has more to cover. I remember crying due to the fact I couldn't find anything that met the dresscode that I felt good in. It's hard. I was personally never able to get away with skirting the lines of dress code. If my dress or skirt was a little bit too tight or an inch too short. I was called out immediately. I wouldn't have had a problem with this if other girls had been treated the same. The reality is that I got called on dresscode significantly more. Girls with skirts the same length or fittedness were not getting called for dresscode due to being skinnier. Dress codes are rarely ever created with thick girls in mind who fill out T-shirts way differently. That's why we perpetually get picked on.

Why do people sexualize the bodies of curvy girls? I think society has this idea that if women or teen girls have more fat in particular areas that they are inherently more sexual. Skinnier girls bodies are not seen as inherently sexual, therefore, they are in need of less policing.

WDress codes should be just not simply gender wise but also of women of different shapes. A skinny girl shouldn't be allowed to wear a form fitting dress, while a thicker girl would never be able imagine doing the same. Standards must be equitable for all parties. Society needs to stop picking upon curvy girls for things they can't change about themselves. Things need to be done to stop the hypersexualization of curvy girls' and women's bodies. 

An Open Letter to the Resistance

Dear Resistance,

You have all surprised me with your willingness to stand up for what is right. I have been encouraged from all the beautiful faces I have seen at rallies, marches, and meetings both online and in real life. I
love all of your eagerness to promote change and to stand against an agenda that hurts so many. I know you each have your own responsibilities of your lives, but the time you take out to focus on resisting The Trump administration is amazing. The difference that we can all collectively make together inspires me. The peacefulness of the protests have also warmed my spirit. Everyone simply desires to incite change through peaceful methods. I am also familiar with the frustration of the seeming inadequacies of such methods to draw attention. The fact is we have done something never done before. We have created some of the most impactful and largest international protests the world has ever seen. Most have been done with little or  no incidents. This is an absolutely amazing feat. This is a testament to the character of those who choose to resist. I compel you to stand strong. Keep Resisting! Keep Calling! Keep Marching! Never stop! The power of our individual determinations together is unstoppable. We can and will do what has never been done before. So thank you. Thank you for inspiring me. Thank you for empowering me.

                                                         A Fellow Resistance Member

Having an Obvious Skin Condition

Feeling beautiful is a complicated journey for so many women and men. It seems that our society values the outer appearance so much. Considering reality, outer appearance does significantly affect our existence as human beings. While we can lie to ourselves and claim that we don't care or that the commentary doesn't affect us, that isn't necessarily true.

Personally for me, I have a skin condition called eczema. If you know me in real life you have probably wondered what those distinct dark marks are that speckle my arms and legs. Well, it is eczema. No, it's not contagious. No, I don't think it's ugly. Yes, I have chosen to love my most distinct characteristic. 

Having an obvious skin condition has always been a struggle for me. I admit I used to envy everyone else's skin. I had to come to the realization that my skin isn't going to be magically even toned, smooth, etc by hating my eczema. That being said I chose to love myself just the way I was. It has been a long journey and I still cringe a bit when people comment on it or stare, but I do love my cheetah spots. They are part of what makes unique. They are apart of my distinct beauty.

Learning to love yourself just the way you are is important. Hating yourself will not change a thing, but loving your uniqueness will make you happy. I compel you to love your stretch marks, hyper-pigmentation, acne, or whatever physical aspect of you that you don't like, but makes you unique. It's beautiful. Having to learn to love my imperfections has been amazing not only has it boosted my own confidence, it has allowed me to see the beauty in the imperfections others. I don't see imperfections as ugly but distinctions that provide and exquisite unique sort of beauty. While finding the beauty in yourself won't happen everyday, I encourage you to begin the journey to loving yourself just as God made you. You are beautiful. You are wonderful. You are exquisite. You are unique. Love yourself from the soles of your feet to the tip top of your head. 

Altering the Tide

Eleven. I was eleven, when Trayvon Martin was brutually slain. I remember thinking why? Why was he murdered when he didn’t do anything wrong. It broke my heart. It shattered my perspective of the world. I thought the world was so much better than it was then even though I had expereienced my own trials and heart breaks. I had experienced racism, but I had never really processed and labeled it as such. The shooting of Trayvon Martin was a turning point in my life and believes. It was something that started a process that is irreversible. I began to educate myself. I didn’t grow my passion for social justice overnight. It was birthed from inquiry. The senseless killing of Trayvon Martin sparked something in me. I needed to know how something so unjust could happen and how the killer could get away with it. I read. I read and I read. Articles,books, news. I need to understand what this was. Why that happened? In that process, I learned about more than I had bargained for. I learned about income inequality, wage pay gap, lack of girl’s education, human trafficking, systemic racism. I am stilling learning about all of these things. The world is so much more a darker place than it was to me at eleven, but I still have hope. Hope that one day things will change. When I heard that Philando Castille had not received justice, it took me back to that feeling I felt at eleven that sparked the inner activist in me. The feelings that this world is so unjust and unfair and an anger and anger to chance things. I will never forget them. I will also not forget the other victims of unfair police brutality and racism. They must be remembered. We cannot let their deaths be in vain. We must work together to change a system that allows for murders and rapists to go free and others to be sentenced years for smoking marijuana. Seventeen, I am seventeen. And I still am thinking why about the death of an innocent person. We need to, we have to, we must alter the tide of police brutality that has been sweeping over the black community for decades.

Demonizing the Opposing Party Must End

In the wake of a shooting in which Republicans were victimized due to party, it brought something to my mind not only how egregious and wrong what happened was, but how there is the culture of demonetization that makes a shooting only inevitable. Each party or side is constantly demonizing the other. Those who stand in the middle are considered wishy-washy not radical enough. While it is fine to have strong opinions, it is not okay to demonize others due to party affiliation. I have met good people who are libertarians, Republicans (some even voted for Trump), democrats, constitutionalists etc. I think it is easy to turn the opposite political position into a group promoting hell on earth. I have caught myself making broad stroking accusations towards the Republicans. In reality, not all Republicans are like that. I have been called democrap, libertard and a slew of other insults due to my politically left leanings. These insults and broad stereotypes are purposed with dehumanizing others.  While I may not agree with Republicans, I think demonetization is wrong. It almost always leads to violence. We must recognize that we all want the same basic thing and that is a better America.

An Open Letter to Racism Deniers

Dear Racism Deniers,

You're denial and minimization of pain you don't feel hurts. Instead of sympathy, you show the cold shoulder, because this doesn't affect you. When someone gets killed for racially motivated reasons, you need to hear more information before even showing the least bit of empathy. You have shown over and over that, I cannot trust you. I can't trust you with my stories, my emotions, and my reality. You are a part of the systemic oppression by denying its existence and not even attempting to remedy the cause. You say you would have helped during slavery, civil rights, etc. I don't buy it. You claim you support marginalized groups while continuing to speak over them calling them disillusion with a victim mentality. In reality, you are only blame-shifting and victim blaming. This helps no one if anything it hurts. The reason you may not want to realize the issues at hand because then you become apathetic. Yo are now responsible for your lack of action. Instead, you prefer to say wait. Instead, you prefer to victim blame. Instead, you prefer to scream over those already barely heard. Try something new like taking a time to show empathy. Listen. Don't just hear. Listen with a truly open heart. See with truly open eyes. Maybe you will see what those you blame are seeing. Maybe you will see the oppressing that some are crumbling under.

A Dear Social Justice Warrior Friend,

Lorrayya Williams

An Open Letter To Republicans

Dear Republicans,

You have allowed your party to ravished by racism, sexism, xenophobia, and many other forms of prejudicial hate. Before, you stop reading this letter hear me out, this isn’t to simply accuse you of your sins. This IS a call to action. When Donald Trump an open misogynist ran for president, you wholeheartedly supported him. You stood behind his even after calling mexicans  rapists and murderers even after he imitated and disabled reporter. When he made sexually objectifying comments about women, you ignored it or dismissed it as “locker room” talk. You claim your party is the party of Lincoln, but it isn’t. It doesn’t stand up for radical change for people of color or promote women’s rights. The republican party has morphed into a monster run by big business and openly allowing for hate. Xenophobic, racist, and misogynists comments are allowed much too often. All the while many republicans look the other way.  Not only does such behavior ignored, it is rewarded by re-election,  being defended, and minimizing the pain that is caused. This hate that you have allowed in your party, making it the safe heaven of the alt-right, neo-nazis, and neo-confederate, who cry “white supremacy.” You refuse to call this hate out. Your defense for lack of action is simply “free speech”.  Free speech doesn’t stop one from condemning immoral use of speech. Ignoring the issue only allows for it to grow.  You allowed the party to be a safe space for hate of all kinds. That is why the lack the diversity of the other parties in our nation. While you may dismiss this as a letter from a liberal crying wolf, I would encourage you to examine yourself. When is the last time you voted for someone who has said hateful things? Do you continue to support a candidate despite or because of their racism, xenophobia, sexism, etc? Do you allow for the stereotyping of marginalized groups? I would challenge you not to sit by and watch as your party's invaded by racists. I would encourage to challenge your own prejudice. Racist, sexist, xenophobic comments and policy must not be tolerated. They must be called out, stopped, and those saying such things must not be re-elected.

Now, I understand not all republicans have taken part of this practice of ignoring discrimination, hate, and prejudice. The vast majority have. That is why neo-nazis, neo-confederates, and the alt right are perfectly at home. That must be challenged. So I compel you to not look the other and if you aren't keep doing what you're doing.

Sincerely,

A Dear Progressive Friend

Lorrayya Williams