It's Time For Anti-Racism!

It's Time For Anti-Racism:

Why it is not enough for white people to be nonracist. 

Lorrayya Williams

I cannot count how many times I have heard white people respond with I am not racist when it comes to a discussion in regards to race and racism.  If I ask them how, they may say 'well I think all people are equal.' Within our society, it is pretty common for most to consider themselves not racist. The fact is the vast majority of people are not explicitly racist. Most people don't wake up in the morning thinking about the ways they can oppress people of different races or dehumanize them. Despite this, the issue of race still remains pervasive and widespread in our society. Even as there is a pandemic in the United States, there are large racial inequities in the death toll and spread of the virus in communities of color. (Aubrey, 2020) This highlights an ongoing problem of racial inequity and disparities within healthcare. The reality is that these things only persist due to a lack of action. It is not enough to be not a racist one must be anti-racist.
Throughout the history of the United States, white people have insulated themselves from the ugliest parts of racism. While many white people from both the north and south did not own slaves, they were implicit in allowing slavery to persist as long as it did. Additionally, the same founding fathers that demanded their own freedom owned slaves such as George Washington and Thomas Jefferson. Some might argue that this was simply what people did and it was just the way things were. This bolsters my initial argument of the complicity of white people. They did not challenge the egregious injustice of slavery as they should. This is not to fail to recognize the many white abolitionists who fought for the freedom of enslaved Africans. The reality is the majority of white people were complicit in this horrendous human rights violation not by actually owning slaves but due to inaction.
One can bring this conversation to the present day. The reality is that many fail to act in order to halt the widespread inequalities. Looking back to the recent past we can take the time to analyze the 2016 election, possibly one of the most heated and polarizing elections. Anecdotally, I noticed throughout the primaries the discussion of race by Republicans simply did not exist. Racial inequities just were not considered important enough to discuss during the debates. It was a conversation that did come up during the Democratic primary debates in both 2016 and more recently in 2020. A poll done by the Pew Research Forum highlights the difference of importance by voters of racial issues. 82 % of black voters and 72 % of Hispanic voters considered treatment of minorities an important voting issue. Meanwhile only 56% of white voters did and that number dropped to 40% if white voters were Republican and spiked to 78% if voters were Democrats relatively on par with voters of color. 41 % of whites believed that too much attention was spent on race and that increased to 59 % if Republican and dropped to 21% if Democrat. While 58% of black voters believed race wasn't talked about enough. (Pew Research Center, 2016) These stats have a few implication Republican and Independent white people do not see race as an important issue for voting. Generally, there is a significant lack of interest in discussing racism as a voting issue. I believe this is part of the reason one of the most explicitly racist candidates in recent history was elected president. Many white people simply can look past racism as an issue that needs to be addressed at even so much as a basic level as voting
If no one is a racist, why all the racial inequity? The answer is simply. Non-racism is not sufficient. Anti-racism is imperative. Racial injustice must be a voting issues. It must become a discussion that is had on more than just one side of the aisle. The reality is it must begin with recognizing that lack of action makes one complicit in racism. That inaction simply is not enough. Without the actions of the people who have fought and are still fighting for racial equity we would not be where we are today. This was accomplished not simply by people being not racist or not holding slaves or not lynching black folks. This happened due to people standing up and saying enough is enough. It happened due to making anti-racism a voting issue. It happened due the thousands upon thousands of actions big and small done by millions. For white folks, maybe it started with listening to the experiences of the people of color around them and opening their eyes to injustice. That is what needs to begin to happen in our nation. People must open their eyes and see and not simply gawk frozen in place. They must take what they learn and fight racism in the polls, on the streets, in the schools,  in the houses of worship, and anywhere there feet take them. It is not enough to just be nonracist. We must fight to abolish racism both personal and institutional. We must work to overcome our own implicit biases educate ourselves on the issues then stand up and fight back. Black and brown bodies are not disposable. It is now or never. I think it is more than about time for Anti-Racism.

Works Cited
https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2016/07/13/partisan-racial-divides-exist-over-how-important-treatment-of-minorities-is-as-a-voting-issue/
https://www.npr.org/sections/coronavirus-live-updates/2020/04/08/830030932/cdc-hospital-data-point-to-racial-disparity-in-covid-19-cases
https://www.history.com/news/5-myths-about-slavery

Don’t Push Me Away: A Narrative of the Traumatic Effects of Anti-Lgbtqia Theology

Don’t Push Me  Away:

A Narrative of the Traumatic Effects of  Anti-Lgbtqia Theology

Lorrayya Williams

Checking my facebook messenger, I noticed that someone who claimed they “cared” about me had blocked me just like that; no warning, no explanation. The reason was glaring right at me. She blocked me because I was gay. It wasn’t solely my gayness but my comfortability in my identity. It was the fact that I was learning how to love myself as I was. It was my authenticity in it. That’s what bothered her most. It isn’t like I was extra gay around her; no more than with my other friends. When I finally texted her for an answer, I was met with a chilling coldness. That got me thinking about the broader implications of a reality I had been running from. The church hates gays. Now, before you jump on my back and say that isn’t true or say no not MY church or we hate the sin, not the sinner, let me explain.

 Take a seat, get comfy as you are about to hear the story well my story with the Church big C and my sexuality. Growing up, I wasn’t familiar with the LGBTQIA community. I don’t even think I knew any LGBTQIA people and the ones I heard of were the exact opposite of a good Christian. Shows were immediately turned off if they depicted any sort of homosexual love. Homosexuality was rarely spoken about when it was, it was always negatively and in hush tones. When I would hear a sermon on homosexuality, homosexuals were always shown as lost. They almost always found Jesus and became “straight.” LGBTQIA activists were depicted as highly problematic. There was something inherently wrong with homosexuals. They were mentally ill (Side Note: Mental illness is never something to be ashamed of, but the people in the aforementioned context thought it was) or damaged in others ways. Homosexuality was just an expression of that damage. So heading into my teenage years, I believed homosexuals were pretty messed up people.

   When I entered my teenage years, I began to notice the homosexual feelings I had. I most definitely thought women were more attractive than men. Despite a minimal attraction to the opposite gender, I continued to deny the fact I was queer. The Church had taught me that being queer was wrong in a million ways, so I did everything I could to run away from it. For better or worse, it was catching up with me. I tried so hard to be straight. I’d talk to boys more than I should to compensate for the way I felt. I thought it was normal to ask yourself if you were a lesbian and not just know you were straight. In reality, it wasn’t. When I finally couldn’t run anymore, I made the realization I was queer. Now, in the subsequent months, the church didn’t even have to do the work of condemnation. I had learned enough to condemn myself. I remember I would read the clobber passages and cry. I’d would pray so fervently for God to just make me straight. I couldn’t even enjoy church. I was constantly condemning myself. I wanted so desperately for things to change so desperately not to be the way I was. While there were many Christians, who supported me in my journey. The overall institution that is the church had greatly contributed to my self-damaging behavior. I remember feeling so terrible all the time that I would think about suicide regularly to the point of once writing a suicide letter and standing there with a handful of pills in my hand. I knew that if I continued this cycle of self-hatred. I wouldn’t last much longer.

I felt like I was suffocating under a mass of guilt. Why was I like this? What had I done wrong to be like this? I felt that God hated me to the very core. I knew I needed something so I reached out. While some people were genuinely kind and desired to understand, I was pushed towards celibacy. I was told that I was an abomination. More kindly, I was told to date or marry a woman was a sin, and I should remain celibate or get into a heterosexual relationship. I couldn't understand why God would ban love because it looks a certain way.  These people who were trying to help me and lead me in the "right direction" pushed me further towards some of the darkest months in my life.

   After many months of internal battling and emotionally draining thought pattern, I began to choose to see things differently. I wasn’t broken. I began unthinking the negative thoughts that the church had perpetrated. Overcoming my own self-marginalization, I would talk about girls I liked like I used to talk about boys. This was normal. As I grew to learn to be ok with myself to stop wanting death, to realize God loved me,  and to understand that I could be queer and a Christian. I came across significant rubs. Some people wanted me to stay the miserable self-hating person I was. That’s when my friend decided to cut me off when I decided to be happy. She knew the context. She knew my journey, but those in the church would rather have self-hating suicidal queer folks that eventually self-destruct than people, who are their authentic selves. That hit me like a ton of bricks. I was told by multiple people to revel in my suffering that was highly unsustainable that with the hopes of some grand progressive sanctification. I knew that if I kept on going I was eventually going to literally and figuratively going to fall apart and worst of all irreparably hurt myself. The reality is the system of the church doesn’t care if I fall apart. They wanted me to fall apart because a dead gay is better than a happy and live one. This sort of mentality is destroying lives and perpetuating hate.

   I know most people are well-meaning, but perpetuating narratives that promote straightness as the ultimate end goal is harmful. To harp on the inadequacies of LGBTQIA people is wrong. All of the negative things I would tell myself I had learned from the church. I had learned I needed to be straight. I had learned I had turned away from God. I learned many things which simply weren’t true. They ate me alive. People ignored what their bad theology was doing to me. They had me hoping for something that was never going to happen. That was unfair. The worst part about it was not only the false hope but the condemnation if you don’t believe in the false hope. The social isolation of choosing to love yourself. In the end, rather than pulling me closer to the God I love so much. The church as a whole has pushed me away. They have shown I and other LGBTQIA people what it means to hate others deeply. They believe they have the divine right to hate something they don’t fully understand.

   On the same token, the homophobic part of the church was pushing me towards something better. As I was socially isolated and condemned by those who judged me for the way God made me, I was moving closer to something better. I was able to interact with other Christians who were allies or LGBTQIA themselves. This was mind-blowing. I was taught that being Christian and gay couldn’t happen together. You had to give up one for the sake of the other, but this wasn’t necessarily the case. In that community, I found a love that was new fresh and revitalizing. A love that gave me hope that maybe I did belong in the church and that I wasn’t simply fighting an uphill battle. I think that hope embodied in those who fully embraced every part of my identity gave me life. In finding that life, I came to the right answer, the truth. There was simply nothing wrong with me. I was spending hours and hours trying to figure out how to fix something that wasn’t even broken. I know it probably sounds cliche but that’s how I felt. I was shown a side of Christianity that could bring the life I was looking for instead of the condemnation and death that constantly consumed me.

   There is always hope. Always. I want people to know that despite the way they may have been treated by the church there is a place for you; a seat at the table. I have experienced multiple levels of marginalization within the church, but there is hope despite the hopelessness. Despite my misgivings and doubts about the CHURCH big C. I would encourage others not to give up. Jesus loves you just the way you are. The gospel is a doctrine of love. Those who are not sharing that love with others will be held accountable for their actions. On the other side of the spectrum, I would compel those who are anti-LGBTQIA to evaluate their actions as they can be emotionally and mentally harmful to others. The goal of the Christian faith is love, not legalism. People won’t remember what you said or what you did but how you made them feel. Making LGBTQIA people feel terrible for being who they are is exactly what pushes people away. Being LGBTQIA is not a sin not an issue of salvation and absolutely not something I or anyone else can change or should hide.

Beware of False Equivalences

Left and Right, up and down, east and west, people attempt to make opposites equivalents, especially within the political and social realms. This can be seen recently in those attempting to equate the equivalence between anti-fascists and neo-nazis, who quite literally espouse the ideas of the ruthless dictator responsible for one of the largest genocides in World History. That is a prime example of a false equivalence. This thought process can become highly problematic because it ignores the significance of the issues, creates a false middle ground, and denies the urgency. The creation of false equivalence can be problematic and have significant negative expressions especially for those already marginalized.

To recognize whether an equivalence is true, it is important to look at the implications of each side. If someone chose chocolate ice cream over vanilla, there isn't necessarily a whole lot of negative real-world implications. If racism is normalized, there are significant real-world implications that can be detrimental to society. It cannot be inserted that there is a moral equivalence. A good but seemingly ridiculous example could be the false comparison between abolitionists and slave owners, yet this false equivalence is what led to decisions like the Fugitive Slave Act and Missouri Compromise by attempting to appease each side. One can realize that these two positions are by no means equivalent. One is morally upright while the other is simply evil.

The most obvious negative implication is it allows for evil to prevail. The reality is that there should be no compromise when one side is detrimental. Compromise has been over-romanticised. Every compromise isn't necessarily peace-making and can be morally abhorrent. It also creates an appearance of a lack of urgency that the issue truly requires. We can see this when in response to black lives matter others retorted all lives matter. While in fact, all lives do matter, there is an urgency to the black bodies falling in the streets of America. The response of all lives matter is ignoring that urgency. While it may seem like the peacemaking thing to do when there are significant moral implications one has to take the side of justice.

To choose compromise for the sack of a false sense of peace simply enables the wicked ends that are sought in a morally nonequivalent disagreement. If you allow for those seeking to marginalize others to have an inch, they will want a mile. While compromise is great when extreme negative implications aren't at stake, concrete decisions on an issue are important when they are. It is important to stand strong against the forces of evil instead of compromising with them for a false peace. 

An Open Letters to My Allies

Dear Allies,

Thank you! When I decided to come out, I felt as though I was doing something crazy stupid. I had no way of no one how'd other people would react or how people would treat me. The terror was even higher knownign that I myself in prior years was not only not an ally but a homophobe. While those were not my proudest moments, I wasn't going to expect everyone to have a higher level of empathy and care that I only have recently come to know. That'd be expecting more out of others than I did out of myself. Despite the risk, I have learned and am still learning it is better to be rejected for who you are than excepted for who you aren't. I was willing to take chances. I was willing to open up, so I did. It was one of the best decisions I have ever mad.

While coming out at least for me, is never easy, the love I received from my friends and family literally gave me life. I stopped feeling like I was hiding. I can easily talk about the girls or guys I like without feeling like I have to a like a guy. It was freeing. I wanted to be known and now I am. The way that each person accepted me or learned to love me has been different, but I think God placed me where I am in order to grow people and to grow myself.

Love,

Your queer Sister

Lorrayya Williams

Queer, God, and me

This is an anonymous submission to my blog. Enjoy!

At first, I was depressed about my attraction to women. I was dealing with a number of things at once, and this added to my depression. As if those things weren’t enough, facing outright homophobia on a regular basis made life nearly unbearable. I remembered every single homophobic comment delivered by my peers and family. I was terrified, and hated myself and my feelings. How could I have feelings for the same sex, despite what I had been taught about homosexuality, and what it means to love God?  I continued to pray and draw near to God, but I came to a realization. I had always been attracted to women, and I always would be. It was a fundamental part of who I was.
After attending a SAGA  meeting, I decided to come out. I felt empowered in the presence of beautiful LGBTQ people who were proud of who they were. I was nervous. What would my parents, friends, and church community think? I had been grappling with my sexuality, and this question, for months.
After coming out, I expected people to abandon me and have my world shaken to its core. I prepared for lonely nights and long speeches about my lack of salvation, indeed my damnation. But this fear turned out to be inflated. Most people could see me as human first, because I was more than just queer. These precious people loved me for who I was, regardless of their ideas about the LGBTQ community. This was exactly what I needed, and it has sustained me through an intensely stressful period of understanding myself. I have spent enough time hating, judging, and criticizing myself. I need unconditional positive regard, rather than anger, judgement, and isolation.
That is not to say, however, that everyone has welcomed my new public identity with open arms. Close friends and family have had to tell me the “hard truth” about my imminent journey to hell. Unfortunately, I sometimes let those voices be the loudest. I let them condemn me, even though they lack the power to do so. At one point I even wanted to be dead rather than queer. I remember standing in Chapel, unusually unable to enjoy the music and my time with God. I felt the words, the lyrics, and the energy of the place condemning me to hell. It was if I was being mocked. “See how God loves straight people, but you, you are dust. She doesn't love you. How could she?” I left feeling dejected, unloved, and desperate for God. I could not survive thinking that my creator didn’t love me, and that She wanted to banish me to hell. But these thoughts were ungrounded. I had let the words of others become a sort of god to me. In reality, God was calling me to herself. She was saying that I was her child and she is proud of me. God wasn’t shocked or concerned that I identify as queer. God made me that way, and is teaching me to love and accept myself as I am, just as She does with everyone.
My journey is ongoing. I have yet to arrive in a place where I can wholly embrace myself. Some days are better than others, but I seek to learn to love myself as unconditionally as God does. I am not sure whether I was meant to be celibate, marry a guy, or be in a homosexual relationship. I am not sure what is right, but I don't have to know right now. I can take each day to learn and to be the woman God created me to be. That’s all God asks of me, to serve her kingdom. As scripture that offers me the most comfort is, “28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30) God is freeing me of my burden. Her yoke easy. Her arms are strong and provide comfort on this journey that I am on. God takes my brokeness and makes into beauty.

5 Things I Learned from being Friends with Casual Racists

1. Racists take many forms.
I think we all have in our mind some old angry white person with a confederate flag, screaming racial slurs at people of color or using derogatory language in their speech about people of color. The reality is that it doesn't always look like this. A racist can be that boy in your Spanish class or the girl who you saw in different groups you were in. They do not have to even show an inkling of hate or disdain at first. You may even like them, but eventually, it will come out. For far too long, we have seen racists as a fixed type of person that most people just don't fit the category for. Our mindset needs to change as we learn racists take many forms.

2.Phrasing is different, but ideas are the same
When looking at what people think and their core ideas, we have to see what is behind that. The same values that allow for white supremacy are that of the covert racist. A casual racist will phrase things much differently. They might say things like western culture is the best culture, but this is simply a code language for whiteness is the best.  While they may not come out and say white people are inherently better. They will disparage nonwhite people and cultures and always highlight whiteness as the best.

3. It is okay to have emotions regarding it
I always felt that I should not get angry nor feel hurt, but it is okay to have emotions when people who supposedly care about you are making disparaging comments about your ethnicity. That hurts. I am not saying that you should let your emotions control you, but it is okay to be hurt. It is okay to be angry. It doesn't make you any less rational for having emotions about an issue. It just makes you human.

4. It isn't simply a difference of opinion
Many times, they will try to justify their racism as simply a difference of opinion. This takes an opinion that is the reason why people are being brutalized by police officers in the street or children are attending schools without adequate funding and losing out to preferring caramel to chocolate. Racism is not simply a difference of opinion it has tangible real-life effects. We cannot separate the world of ideas from reality. While they may think their belief of black criminality doesn't hurt anyone, it actually has real-world effects that cause people to lose their lives, get falsely convicted, and not adequately helped when victimized.

5. You can't make them change
Ultimately, no matter how much you desire them to change, it is up to God. No matter how much you put your heart on the line sharing your experiences and spend time sending them articles, suggesting books and movies. One has to realize you can only do so much. While they may not change now, you may plant seeds for future change. In addition, after telling and showing them the truth, they cannot say they believe a lie out of ignorance. It is willful and informed hatred. This says a lot more about them than you. 

The Paradox of Oppression

Whether we want to be or not, it is undeniable that we are all interconnected. The choices that I make affect people on the other side of the planet that I will never meet. We are not simply connected to those in our own immediate circles. We are connected to those all around the world in this global society. Many of the things we buy are imported from other countries, but did it ever dawn on you how those things are made or how an American farm bill could affect farmers all over the world? Maybe you have maybe you haven't. One thing is evident is that this interconnectedness produces its own sort of paradox and that is the paradox of oppression. 

An obvious question is what is the paradox of oppression. It is basically the idea that your own oppression leads to the oppression of others. For example, workers in the USA who do not make living wages end up purchasing cheaper goods and are fiscally unable to boycott companies that treat workers overseas horribly or even enslave them. In essence, it is the idea that one sort of oppression leads to another sort of oppression. This allows for the entire oppressive system to have a tighter grasp upon the oppressed. In turn, the paradox of oppression can also work another way, USA workers make more money are able to afford to be pickier about where they buy from and workers overseas end up working in better condition. The idea is that our oppression is inexorably linked to others so much so that when one of us is in chains than all of us our. 

The implication of this paradox is that we have to look at fighting the power in not only a local or even national way. We have to look at it in an international way. We have to look at how the US has played a role in the mal-treatment of workers overseas and how the oppression Americans face here leads to the oppression of others elsewhere.  The bottom line is that we must take a deeper look and not just think about the ways US policy affects us but how these policies affect the world. When we are freed from our own oppression, we must strive to advocate for others. 

This world is so interconnected that it is impossible to not think about things in a global way and truly solve the issues. We must stand together against those who want to use workers as if they are disposable. To those who do not want every citizen of this planet to have access to basic human rights; education, healthcare, and a living wage. It is our time to stand together and fight the power. It is time to recognize our own part in these oppressive systems and realize our own power to make a change. We all must stand together in order to fight for a better world.